I should have known it was always going end like this: A Donald Trump/Megyn Kelly 2016 GOP ticket for president. Trump takes a backseat to no one. Not even to that evil political mastermind Frank Underwood.
I know now why he can’t seem to let go of Megyn Kelly. Why he always brings her up when it seems the media was about to let go of their tiffs in favor any of Trump’s latest outrage.
This was all because he’s been planning to make Ms. Kelly his 2016 running mate all along. In one fell swoop, he checkmates Hillary Rodham Clinton, takes care of the women’s vote and literally torpedoes the political narrative about him being a chauvinist pig with an unbeatable ticket.
Gone forever is talk of GOP leaders and party establishment ambushing Trump at the Cleveland convention in favor of a non-existent option. And this has the virtue of also saving them from a third-party run by Trump. Party leaders will worship Trump because he has solved all of their problems with that bold move. He not only increases their majorities in the House and Senate, we get new Trump-like governors and state legislatures across the nation.
You’re probably saying how very “House of Cards” of me. This ticket beats even the Underwoods!
The fake fight with Trump has allowed Ms. Kelly and her network, Fox News Channel, to pretend to some legitimacy as a journalist and news gathering organization. The fact is Ms. Kelly is a loyal water-carrying Republican and Fox News a very effective propaganda machine for GOP talking points.
Now, I have one further idea that will blow everybody’s mind.
On the eve of the convention, Trump should announce that not only has he convinced Kelly to run on the ticket with him, but that they’ll both dump their respective spouses and marry each other at the convention (God! I am blowing my own mind; this is just brilliant).
Yeah, it’ll be the third wedding for Ms. Kelly and the fourth for Trump but he’s been married to Melania for more than ten long years now. Melania has been a very serviceable trophy wife but that’s an incredible shelf life for a Trump marriage. It’s time it ends. I recognize there’s the same age spread, Trump being 90 and Megyn and Melania both being 45 but Megyn’s profession as a journalist—unlike the jobs of his previous spouses—has the veneer of respectability.
As Trump will tell, nobody does marriages like he can. This will be the most beautiful marriage in the history of all the worlds. It’ll be a beautiful thing. And the best political convention ever.
I don’t know if being the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan grants David Duke the privilege of performing marriage ceremonies but he could claim his rightful place at this convention by presiding over the wedding.
After this Marriage-cum-Political Convention has united the Republican Party like nothing could, the GOP could then storm the White House on their way to make America White Again.
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