As the character of our next POTUS—Donald Trump—blooms right before our very eyes, it occurs to me it is not too soon to start imagining how future events might play out. Take that first Trump summit with Russia President Vladimir Putin. A lot is going to be riding on that one.
Trump and Putin had admired each other from afar but, now that the unthinkable has happened and the American people have lost their heads and gone and elected Trump as “leader of the free world,” they find themselves uneasy rivals on the world stage.
Putin has ridden bareback, his and the horse’s; he’s famous for his judo moves and has wrestled bears, among many manly exploits. Trump plays golf and, as he has assured us, whatever the size of his hands, it does not mean what Little Marco jerkily insinuated: “I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it.”
But, in this first summit, Trump and Putin began squabbling immediately. The first issue was where to meet. As most countries of the Western world declined to host Trump, they settled on the out of the way Yesanguan Township in Badong County in China.
“Yeah, China,” Trump says. “China is a big country. Anybody can tell you, I only go to the biggest countries. No shrimpy countries for me.”
“I hate China,” Vlad says, “but, because you are hated all over the world and you’re too chicken to meet in Russia, we have to come to this hellhole.”