Marriage Archives - MICHAEL O. ALLEN

further reflections on the California marriage decision

By michael o. allenHomepageNo Comments

First, let me clear my throat:

These thoughts are the outgrowths of a discussion I was having with a friend (I’ll call her Gigi). I am not sure that it is germane but let’s note that I am a straight, married man and that my friend identifies as queer and cannot, as of yet, legally marry her partner in New York State.

That is, if she wanted to. As it is, she is against marriage. For both straight and gays. Period.

Anything insightful, original, or radical in this post, I would have to attribute to her.

That isn’t without caveat. The first point that she and I agree on is that, and this is a direct quote from her:

relationships free of commitment can lead to a lot of exploitation and can wreak havoc on women and children who only gain protection through formalized relationships.

The other point we agree on is that marriage, if it exists at all (this last clause would be revelatory to my wife), should be available to all. It is in that vein that we celebrate the truly groundbreaking, epochal California marriage decision.

I know now that those on the right – religious or otherwise – and the other know nothings will take this decision as their battle cry to not only reverse it, but to also erase gains that gays, lesbians and the transgendered have made in our society. We must stop them from doing this.

But we cannot just play defense.

Another direct quote from Gigi:

Giving rights to married people and using those rights to exclude others for me makes the state a moral judge, an enforcer of cultural norms, and does injustice to the complexity of our lives and does violence to a wider, larger concept of love.

How about, instead of extending such protections only to people who have sex with one another, that the protections that “marriage” contain be extended to all the myriad ways that family and commitment manifest in our lives.

Gigi:

People should be able to contract their relationships. For instance, two sisters who live together and share finances should be able to draw up a contract for a 5, 10, 20 yr agreement which dictates they share rights of inheritance or end-of-life decision power for one another.

Or two people who are sleeping together draw up a contract that says they share x, y, and z — but want their property to revert to their children if they should pass.

The point would be not to limit those options and not to give any relationship a privileged status.

So, let the battle be joined. We should draw up our own manifesto on where we should be as a society and put that up against the people who, against all reason, would plunge society into the dark ages.

May 21, 2008

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MAN CHARGED IN WIFE’S ORDEAL; HE DRENCHED HER WITH GAS, COPS SAY

By michael o. allenHomepage, The RecordNo Comments

By Michael O. Allen, Record Staff Writer | Friday, December 20, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | 5 Star | NEWS | Page C05

A 27-year-old man abducted his estranged wife from a Teaneck street, drenched her with gasoline, and threatened to set both of them afire if she did not reconcile with him, police said.

Russell J. Kutcher was arrested in a Ridgefield motel where he had taken her, police said. Kutcher was being held Thursdau on $500,000 bail in the Bergen County Jail. His wife, whom police declined to name, was not injured.

The couple, separated since September, were in the process of getting a divorce. The woman had obtained a temporary restraining order against Kutcher on Dec. 13 because he was bothering her, Teaneck police Detective Leonard Pinto said. They were married in February.

Kutcher, a former Garfield resident who had been living at the motel, abducted the 24-year-old Elmwood Park woman about 12:45 p.m. Wednesday as she was talking with a friend at Bergen Street and Blauvelt Avenue near Ridgefield Park, Pinto said.

He dragged her into his 1978 Ford Thunderbird, then pulled a container from the back seat and poured gasoline over her head, Pinto said.

“He held a lighter to me and threatened to kill us both if I didn’t stop screaming,” the woman later told police.

A few minutes later, the frantic friend hailed Ridgefield Park police Sgt. Timothy LaTour, who had just left his house after a lunch break, and told him what had happened. LaTour broadcast a description of Kutcher’s car, and police from Teaneck and Ridgefield joined Ridgefield Park police in the search.

About 1:30 p.m., LaTour found Kutcher’s car in the parking lot of the Turnpike Motor Hotel on Route 46 west.

LaTour said he waited for backup from Ridgefield Park Capt. William Morton and Officer Philip McEntee, Pinto, and Ridgefield Detective Richard Stoltenborg, Investigator William Candeletti, and Officer William Pych, and that police then kicked in the door of Room 59.

“She was inside the room, sitting on the bed, crying,” LaTour said. “He was just walking around with pants, no shirt on.”

Kutcher gave up without incident, police said. Ambulance personnel found his wife covered with gasoline, Stoltenborg said.

Police said Kutcher, an unemployed chef, was staying in the motor hotel for the past week. His last known address was 271 Lanza Ave., Garfield.

He was charged Thursday in Teaneck Municipal Court with abduction and aggravated assault. Bail was set at $100,000. He was charged in Ridgefield with criminal restraint, unlawful imprisonment, making terroristic threats, and contempt of court for violating the restraining order. Bail there was set at $400,000.

December 20, 1991

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ENGLEWOOD WOMAN HOME SAFELY; HUSBAND MAY FACE KIDNAPPING CHARGE

By michael o. allenHomepage, The RecordNo Comments

By Michael O. Allen, Record Staff Writer | Thursday, December 19, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | 5 Star 3| NEWS | Page B03

A 37-year-old Ridgefield woman, allegedly kidnapped by her estranged husband and taken to his Middletown, N.Y., home, has returned home unharmed, police said.

City police are seeking to extradite John Louis Ruggiero from New York to face a kidnapping charge, Capt. C. Kenneth Tinsley said Wednesday.

Ruggiero, 41, was being held without bail in Orange County Jail on charges of criminal possession of cocaine, drug paraphernalia, two handguns, and fireworks, New York State Police Investigator Thomas Wood said.

Margaret Ruggiero was reported missing by her mother, Dorothy McDermott, about 3:30 p.m. Tuesday. Workers at the obstetrician’s office where Ruggiero works called McDermott to say they had not seen her daughter all day, although her car was parked outside, said Detective Scott Jenkins, who investigated the case with Detective Sgt. David Bowman.

McDermott called police about 6 p.m., after receiving a call from her daughter, and said that Ruggiero had been kidnapped by her husband that morning and was being held at his home.

Ruggiero later told police that her husband had come up behind her and forced her into his car as she arrived at work in Englewood about 8:45 a.m. Tuesday, Jenkins said.

He drove her to Middletown, telling her that he would not harm her and that he just wanted to talk. He allowed her to make the call that led to her return home, she said.

December 19, 1991

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POLICE TAUGHT ABOUT ABUSE LAW

By michael o. allenHomepage, The RecordNo Comments

By Michael O. Allen, Record Staff Writer | Thursday, November 14, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | 5 Star | NEWS | Page B01

A police officer responds to a call about a woman’s screams. He arrives at the home where the screams were heard and is confronted by a man who tells the officer to leave. Nothing is amiss, says the man.

Should the officer break down the door or walk away?

Under the state’s Domestic Violence Prevention Act, which took effect Tuesday, the officer may decide to enter the home. Under the old law, he could not.

More than 150 officers from Bergen County were briefed Wednesday at a workshop on provisions of the new law, which places a burden on police to make arrests in domestic violence situations if they see injury or other evidence of battery.

“It’s a very pro-victim law,” said Paul Brickfield, Bergen County first assistant prosecutor. “If you have injuries, the defendant is going to be arrested, even when the victim is opposed to the arrest.”
Under the old law, police could not do anything if the victim declined to file a complaint. The new law, in effect, says police must file criminal and civil complaints against the person suspected of committing the violence, then arrest him or her.

Even as they welcomed the law, several officers Wednesday pointed out ambiguities that they say may hamper enforcement. River Edge Police Lt. Ron Starace, echoing a concern of many in the audience, said the new law appears to address obvious cases but not the gray areas where evidence of domestic violence is not apparent.

“There’s going to come a point in time when somebody is going to have to go inside that house,” Starace said. “The law, as it is now written, says we can’t walk away.”

Among other provisions, the law:

– Permits police to seize weapons at the scene of violence if they determine that they present a risk to the victim;

– Expands the definition of whom domestic violence law covers to include not just family or blood relations but also other people who live in the same household, including same-sex roommates, partners in a homosexual relationship, and people staying with a family though not related by blood;

– Requires a court order to rescind a restraining order, and mandates that police must arrest the person being restrained from the victim if they are found together, even in cases of apparent reconciliation.

In some areas, the law raises constitutional questions, Oakland Police Sgt. Robert Haemmerle said. He cited the provisions on the seizure of weapons and the forcible entry of a residence as two aspects that could pose constitutional problems.

Midland Park Police Chief Thomas Monarque advised officers to err on the side of caution and protect the victim by entering the house and seizing weapons. Monarque is a member of the county domestic violence working group that advises the prosecutor’s office on the issue.

“That’s what I would want my officers to do,” said Monarque. “We are in untried constitutional grounds here, but we also have protections built into the new law.”

The officer is protected under the law for any good-faith action taken to protect a victim in an area where the law mandates an arrest, Brickfield said.

“It’s always an emotional situation,” Brickfield said. “Usually, the victim wants the defendant out of the house, the defendant is surprised police are going to remove him from his home to take him to jail.”

As police officers in the county implement the law, the Prosecutor’s Office will address problems and issues when they develop, he said.

Also participating in the day-long workshop were Lucia Van Wettering, an assistant Bergen County prosecutor who handles domestic abuse cases; Mary Pillarella, team leader of the domestic violence intake unit at the Bergen County Superior Court, Family Court; and Gina Plotino of Alternative to Domestic Violence, a county counseling agency for victims and defendants in domestic violence cases.

Caption: 2 PHOTOS – AL PAGLIONE / THE RECORD 1 – Ridgefield Park policeman Frank Schwarz listening to 2 – Susan Kulik, an assistant Bergen County prosecutor, at a domestic violence workshop.

November 14, 1991

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GLOBAL SEARCH FOR FORT LEE BOY; DAD SUSPECTED IN ABDUCTION

By michael o. allenUncategorizedNo Comments

By Mary Jo Layton and Michael O. Allen, Record Staff Writers | Thursday, October 10, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | All Editions | NEWS | Page A01

An 8-year-old Fort Lee boy was snatched from a street corner and apparently taken to South Korea in a custody dispute, setting off a frantic international search, authorities said Wednesday.
Investigators suspect that Pyung Woo Song, abducted near his North Central Road home Monday morning as he waited for a school bus, is with his father in Seoul. They were trying Wednesday to confirm the boy’s whereabouts with the assistance of South Korean authorities.
“This is unique because of possible parental involvement,” FBI Special Agent William Tonkin said.
“We are trying to ascertain whether or not we have a federal kidnapping here, and I don’t think we have an answer yet because we don’t have enough facts.”
Investigators from the FBI, South Korea, the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office, and Fort Lee are involved in the case.
Fort Lee police suspect that the boy’s father, Dae Seup Song, also known as Kwi Hwa Song, arranged the abduction after threatening to bring the boy to South Korea against his mother’s wishes, Fort Lee Police Chief John Orso said. The parents were estranged, but Orso said authorities believe they share custody.
The chief said investigators spoke with the father Tuesday afternoon from Seoul.
“He denied having anything to do with it,” Orso said. “He said it’s a shame. She is doing this to hide the boy.”
The boy’s mother, Eun Sook Choi, in an interview at police headquarters Wednesday afternoon, said she was told that the boy is safe and with his father in Seoul. Choi, through an interpreter, said her sister called from Korea at 4 a.m. Wednesday and told her she had spoken with the boy briefly.
“She is relieved that the boy is OK,” said interpreter Peter Lee.
“He is with his father and uninjured. He cried on the phone and said he wants to return to the United States to live with his mother,” Lee said.
The family moved from Virginia to Fort Lee in July and enrolled the boy in School 3, Orso said.
Police suspect the father fled to South Korea, fearing prosecution for bringing illegal immigrants into the United States, Orso said. A spokesman with the Newark office of the INS would not comment on the case.
Authorities spent most of Wednesday unsuccessfully attempting to arrange a phone call between the mother and boy, the chief said.
Authorities were not aware of the boy’s abduction until midnight Monday, when his mother reported it to Fort Lee police.
School 3 Principal John Caputo said school officials noticed the boy was not present at the start of school day, about 9 a.m., and immediately tried to contact his parents.
The boy’s grandmother told investigators through an interpreter that she thought the boy was with his mother. The boy’s mother was attending school all day and did not return home until 11 p.m. When she realized the boy wasn’t there, she called a friend and went to police, Orso said.
“The problem was letting all these hours pass not knowing anything was wrong,” he said.
Language and cultural barriers also hampered the investigation, Orso said.
“Had we been notified of the threat, we definitely would have taken it seriously and had the boy under close surveillance and possibly could have avoided the tragedy,” he said. “I must ask the Korean community to tell its people that we, the Police Department, are here to assist and protect them.”
Police canvassed the neighborhood at the base of the George Washington Bridge on Tuesday. Fliers with a picture of the youth were circulated in the area.
A neighbor reported seeing an Asian man drag Pyung Woo Song into a black Lincoln Town Car driven by another Asian man.
Fort Lee police suspect the boy was taken to Canada and flown to Seoul. At 10 a.m. Wednesday, a police broadcast in Canada alerted authorities to look for a black sedan with two men suspected of kidnapping a Fort Lee boy. Later in the day, police learned of the mother’s conversation with her sister in Korea about her son being there.

Keywords: FORT LEE; CHILD; KIDNAPPING; MARRIAGE; FAMILY; SOUTH KOREA

Caption: COLOR PHOTO – PYUNG WOO SONG

October 10, 1991

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WIFE OF FORMER OFFICIAL IS FOUND DEAD

By michael o. allenHomepage, The RecordNo Comments

By Michael O. Allen, Record Staff Writer | Thursday, September 26, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | 6 Star | NEWS | Page B03

Josephine Irene Mary Schmid, wife of former Teaneck Township Manager Werner Schmid, has died in an incident police are investigating, officials said.
Josephine Schmid, 60, died Monday of multiple fractures, internal injuries, and hemorrhaging after she tumbled from a bridge on the New Jersey Turnpike’s western spur in Kearny, Pat Raviola, a Hudson County assistant prosecutor, said Wednesday.
Police did not know what happened. State Trooper Nick Cagnole found what appeared to be an abandoned car along the turnpike. He found Schmid’s body on a dirt road under the spur, adjacent to the Conrail tracks, police said.
Schmid was pronounced dead at the scene, and her husband identified her body, Raviola said.
Werner Schmid retired as township manager in July 1988 after 33 years in office. He could not be reached Wednesday.
Frank Hall, a Teaneck councilman and former mayor, expressed regret at the death. Werner Schmid is a private man who shielded his family from his public life, Hall said in declining to comment further.
Acting Township Manager Gary A. Saage called Werner Schmid the most honest public official he knew in the 25 years he worked with him, but declined to comment further.

Keywords: TEANECK; OFFICIAL; MARRIAGE; WOMAN; DEATH; PROBE

September 26, 1991

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HUSBAND CHARGED IN BAT ATTACK ON WIFE

By michael o. allenHomepage, The RecordNo Comments

By Michael O. Allen and Caroline Herzfeld, Record Staff Writers | Thursday, July 25, 1991

The Record (New Jersey) | Four Star B | NEWS | Page B02

A 41-year-old borough man was charged with attempted murder Wednesday for allegedly assaulting his wife with a baseball bat earlier this month, police said.
Henry Quagliani, 41, of 90 Chestnut St. was arrested at 12:15 a.m. at the Harmon Meadow Shopping Mall in Secaucus after he returned from Canada to find out his hospitalized wife’s condition, said police Sgt. Thomas Farrell.
Quagliani had left the country shortly after the July 17 assault in the home they shared, Farrell said. Police said he was allowed to live there but was under a restraining order against domestic violence.
Quagliani’s wife, whom police declined to name, was listed in critical condition Wednesday afternoon, a hospital spokeswoman said.
The couple, who have been married for 18 years, were arguing about 9:50 p.m. when the assault occurred. The two had a history of domestic problems, Farrell said.
After Quagliani used a mall telephone booth to call family and friends to inquire about his 43-year-old wife, police found him in the mall parking lot.
He was also charged with aggravated assault, possession of a knife and another weapon the baseball bat and contempt of court for violating the restraining order.
He was being held in the Bergen County Jail Wednesday on $175,000 bail.

Keywords: RUTHERFORD; MARRIAGE; ASSAULT

July 25, 1991

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